Strength in weakness

I think there is something to be said for admitting defeat and just crying out, "I quit!" or maybe even, "I suck!" (Need I turn your attention to this post.) Not in the sense that it is so nice to have people affirm you that no, indeed you don't suck. But in just admitting and getting it off my chest that I can't do this on my own. In fact it is necessary to understand that I wasn't meant to do this on my own.
They say (whoever they is), that it takes a village to raise a child. Sometimes I feel like I'm always ending up in the wrong village. And maybe the people that I thought would be the biggest help to me, are indeed not. And that's ok. Times have changed and people are BUSY. It is hard to see past ourselves, our tasks and all our busyness, to take a minute to look at anyone else. I'm guilty of that. Most of us are. It has become apparent that I need to grow stronger on my own. And also commit more time to God and finding out what He wants. We're learning in our women's Bible study, how to be Spirit-filled. I don't know if you're anything like me, but even though I was raised in the church and have known Christ as long as I can remember, there hasn't been a time that I feel like I have this power of the Spirit inside of me. Helping me to do things I can't do of my own strength. Well He has always been there, but I haven't learned how to make use of Him! to own that right. It makes me sad, really. I've been getting so sick of feeling like I've done all the "right things" and have really been such a good person and followed all the rules, and still feel like I haven't gotten it right. I guess I got caught up in the legalism of religion and haven't figured out how to apply it. This has become more and more of an issue for me, as I don't want my kids to grow up that way. Told all the rules and knowing all the stories and the promises but yet feeling empty and cheated. It makes you rethink all the things that you have done and what part of it really counts. When it's all been said and done. So basically I'm back to the basics, looking for answers.
Thanks to all of you who have written me and given me some feedback and wonderful references to good parenting material and also just to those pastors who are giving us some "meat" instead of fluff. I will post some links for you soon.

Comments

Lisa said…
Sigh. Amen sista! Life would be much less stressful if we were just all honest with each other and didn't pretend to have everything together.
Sounds like a good Bible study - enjoy the journey.
Bloggy Mama said…
Love you, Sarah. That's it, that's all. Just, love you.

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