Saturday, February 05, 2011

Thanks for listening

Thanks ladies....for listening...whether you had the choice or not to listen to me whine and vent again!! It isn't as responsive when I write in my diary, and somehow it is nice to just lay things out there and admit it when you feel crappy and then you just can be free to MOVE ON! So I feel like I got it out of my system and am moving on folks. Hallelujah. And heck, maybe I just need some SUN! That's why I made my blog page yellow today.
Today I got the opportunity to go to a women's conference at our church to hear about mentoring. It was five hours of listening to two women share some of their wisdom, and specifically of the values of being a mentor to someone, and how to be a better one. The two ladies wrote a book together on the subject. It really was applicable to life in general as the main topic was on LISTENING and how to be a better listener. We are all mentors, whether we realize it or not...especially as mothers. Our kids are watching our every move. I am extremely sensitive to that, and sometimes wonder if I am almost trying TOO hard to ensure my kids will NEVER fight, NEVER be let down, NEVER disobey, NEVER say things they shouldn't....to the point that I think I am exasperating them...and exhausting myself!! I need to work on that.
While I struggled slightly in wishing I had someone in this stage of my life to be mentoring me, I also realized that I should be more intentional in looking for ways to mentor others. So it is a goal for sure.
And I'd love to hear if you have someone in your life that is filling that "mentor" role for you.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

it's cool how you can share your feelings with printed words so well! and that you entrust them with us, your readers. You're so real and honest, and I know that we can all relate to the frustrations that you express! They're real life, as it happens, one day at a time without the answers coming in a neat package! I recall a busy, kid-busy period in my life where by the time I fell into bed at night I felt like pulling out ALL my hair. Prayers and tears would fall out of me. After I pushed all my junk back on Jesus, I would listen to myself saying "OK - I left it there - now just REST!" I was so thankful to find "new mercies" every morning! Hang in there sweetheart!

Bri said...

I was thinking about this a few months back, it seems the more I interfere in the mundane disputes (not the all out fights) the more they do it... it just wears on me to hear it ALL THE TIME. I don't remember doing it as a kid which makes me think that it doesn't impact them as much as I think it does. One of the teachers at preschool encouraged the parents only to become involved in disagreements when the children either asked for help or looked as though they may be looking for help (of course, if it becomes physical too). It's been interesting to see if I can let myself hold back getting involved in disputes and let the girls figure it out on their own a bit more. I also have 'quiet time' at least 3 times a week. A set period of time in their rooms, doing whatever it is they want, and NO coming out until the buzzer goes. It gives us all time and space from each other, even if it's only 15 or 30 minutes. It's been amazing to find them reading, singing or sleeping without my prompting. This is the hardest thing I've ever done, it keeps me sane to go and peek in on them when they sleep at night. So calm.

Bri said...

Oh, check out 'Siblings without Rivalry' as well. A quick, easy, amazing read.
http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0380799006