MOM cop

My friend saw me downtown yesterday and was laughing with me (not at me), about my optimistic voice in my last blog entry! I'm sure it did sound as though I was gritting my teeth as I was saying some of my "glass-half-full" statements! I must admit though that I AM glad that Greg is in New York, having an adventure. He needs to get out of here and refresh and just be out of the usual grind. I AM happy for him. Honestly. I wouldn't be having as much fun because I'd be feeling too guilty and worried about leaving my job to everyone else. And that is just a mom thing. The dads have to consistently worry about the financial aspects, while us moms have to consistently worry about the caring aspects. It's a mom thing, and I remember the overwhelming feeling I got when I was first left alone in my hospital room with Riley and was thinking...He is MINE, forever! No one will be this child's mother but me and it is now my forever duty that I can never give back. No responsibility will ever be so huge. Even while I'm away, sleeping, sick or tired, I can not give that job to anyone else. I actually am doing fine with all the physical work involved in taking care of three kids. I am organized and actually quite good at making sure we're all fed, cleaned and out the door on time. It is tiring to be the only one doing all the clean-up, tucking in, feeding, driving etc. But it is totally do-able. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have had three kids. Same goes for the summer...having three kids to be physically responsible for is hard, but do-able. What I'm NOT good at, though, is the emotional side of being a cop 24/7. Making things fair, disciplining while cooking dinner, solving problems while in the shower, separating conflicts while on the phone, dealing with their crying outbursts and hurt feelings while two others are talking in my other ear. That stuff makes me lose it. And those are the times when having Greg around is huge. Right now my oldest is doing his best to annoy everyone (esp. before 7am), while my second loves to over-react to every situation and my youngest has turned off his ears. After thoroughly exhausting my discipline tactics, I've resorted to telling the boys that they are needing to deal with these specific faults as sins that need forgiveness and prayer. We are also starting up behavior charts next week, rather than chore charts, to work on their specific behavior issues. Maybe they will be more aware of their actions. The boys aren't always terrible, by the way. They just don't give me an easy time. I'm also a girl, and they are boys. We don't speak the same language most of the time. Overall, we are managing and it is already Friday. I intend to wear us all out over the weekend, keeping out of the house even if it's raining (like the forecast says). Then when Greg is home, I'm going out with some friends, shopping and getting my hair done. ;)